“My self-created lover boy waits by a red rose shrub weaving those seven colored dreams for his lady love// Black clouds above in the meantime keep passing by... What an apt stage for a fanatic like me, I won't lie// Everything is going fine, yes, the boy has picked up a rose having hurt his tender finger letting few drops to ooze// This' the best way he could show his emotions for her...”- Well, the encroaching February air made me auto-recall a couple of lines from one of my old poems. Smelling the cliché in those lines I desired to be more pragmatic and scratched few dandruffs off my scalp to come up with better plans to do justice to this 'coming soon' Valentine's Day. I thought of writing a letter of proposal with solid impact and high success rate.
Being a man with no exceptional magnetism in the personality, the word 'Propose' has never been quite high-yielding right since my boyhood days, when I used to have a small but more dynamic heart (you now what I mean). Nonetheless it failed to defeat my determination to move on and keep trying. “Failures are pillars of success” was too hardcoded in my mind and perhaps I should devote my earnestness someday to search for that intractable trait somewhere in my gene (simple being human for greater good of humanity). Oh pardon me for the slight diversion. I must confess my weakness in the department of utterance. That's why it looks like a better idea to me to propose my crush on Valentine's day through a carefully drafted warm (yet short) letter:
The one and only vivid Butterfly,
Occupying the only petal of my heart,
Since I don't know when (only with unquestionable honesty).
Subject: Unconditional invitation to my virgin heart and pristine loyalty.
I wish I knew the ultra superlative of 'dear' for the sake of this letter and a book to teach me how to love you little less so that the remaining 'little love' could be spent on trivial subjects like- me, almighty, other friends and my pet. But it's ok, you're completely worth it! You know something, this' the first time I'm feeling bug bites inside my tummy, palpitation, loss of appetite and insomnia. I was so naive (like every other first timer) I took these symptoms as an illness and consulted the family physician. After putting his stethoscope over my chest and throughly examining all my orifices he diagnosed the condition as 'Acute Pseudo Loveiria' and advised me to open up before the lady I'm in madly love with. As soon as the doctor came up with his expert opinion I uttered 'Eureka' exactly like Archimedes as I knew the lady I love, deeply, madly and selflessly! Here I'm expressing my love before any lady for the first time on this auspicious day of February and praying to macho God cupid for a positive response. I'll wait dear till eternity...
Yours most Loyal,
- Medical certificate of my virginity
- Heart scan to show there was no similar infection before this
- Character certificates of school, college and university
- Bank statement of last one year
- Credit card transaction details
- My non-photoshopped photograph
Oh sorry, there's no sufficient space in the page to insert the “Copy forwarded to” column! You're free to plagiarize my letter of proposal if you think it is capable of the magical impact which you often fantasize while on bed. Never mind folks, make best use of this Valentine's day and buy flowers and spend time too besides those covert stuffs. Yo cheers!