Sunday, September 1, 2013

To Modern Madams in Skimpy Clothes

Before you poke fun at my cartoon I’m admitting it myself that its artistic quotient is close to zero, but till then it shouldn’t be taken lightly due to the ugly truth it’s portraying. If you’re a logical person you might interrupt me by amending ‘truth is beauty’… or, if you’re a Gerard Butler’s fan you may feel like hugging me with the brimming wetness of fan-brotherhood. But I assure you, my today’s talk has nothing to do with topics like- Hollywood, romance or how to draw a terrible cartoon with wax crayons, rather it’s a modest woe of an Indian guy who was tagged as a pervert when he dared to request a modern Indian lady in skimpy clothes, “Excuse me madam, slow down a bit, India is not sensitised yet…” Friends, don’t get excited… I understand, such man should be sent to gay-prison, married to a gilt, or castrated for having such a constricted outlook in this 21st century India… but why don’t we hear that pervert’s rationale while cursing his futile manhood in this flourishing democracy?

He Says:-
“Men are dogs whether it’s in America or India. Yea, no deviation from what I have said… I’m in my proper senses. Difference lies in the list of conditioned reflexes in two different lands. Damn it… it hardly matters how painfully honest I remain; you won’t ever identify the bitch in you… so men are no more dogs unless you stop throwing them bones. Sorry guys I’m losing my ice… let me be more composed. See, if an American (just an example, no obsession!) lady puts her sunbathing photos in her online social profile it’s considered there as an element of joy/relaxation which she wants to share with her online connections… if she pitches a flying kiss it’ll be taken as a friendly gesture. But unfortunately if the above said things are done in India, all men have to lie in unison to claim that they won’t react like “Oh goddamn slut”. Wait girl, I’m not voicing my opinion for or against anything yet… right now, I’m only summing up the scenario. You don’t have to admit me, but think yourself, how many times you’ve been followed by some strange man in a busy cityscape… how many times a pair of eyes have bothered you in a shared taxi… how many times your friend’s mom or some other elderly lady have given you that “you’re a spoiled brat for sure” look when you happened to meet them with your designer clothes? I’m just curious, have you seen those drops of sweat on your father’s forehead when you walk with him or without him in market areas infested by sex-starved Indian men? Haven’t you ever felt the sweaty palm of your male partner grasping your hand while passing by a group of lazy guys on some street (yes, my heart aches to type ‘Indian’ in every dirty circumstance)? Lady, are you getting the hole in the coconut? Besides the menacing huge population of horny males, there live two different clans in our country if categorised on the basis of modernisation and gender equality outlook- one group, who is desperately jumping into the moving caravan of metamorphosis and the other, who perhaps wants to ride the caravan from deep inside but something hinders and they calmly watch it pass by them only to gossip about those desperate passengers later. So, till this disparity remains in India, no Rome can ever be built in a day. I’m not telling either- when in Rome, do as the Romans do!”

His Solution:-
“Once again I repeat, nothing abrupt can cure your frustration. You can shut your near ones’ mouth but can’t prevent them from peeping to someone else’s cleavage. Take it slow my friend, why to hurry? Do what you can, not what you want with your pepper spray. You can never change the thought pattern of a grown up person but you can surely mould a child’s brain. Take a pledge to guide your children or any other kid under your belt along the perfect road to maturity. Think about it and strengthen your determination to give birth to a modern India. Till then I’ll remind you of your inappropriate clothing and trouble-inviting gestures… if you call me pervert things would get easier for me… I’ll simply wake up the Indian voyeur in me… decision is solely yours! ”

Oh my God, what a bloody image of devil he is. How can he even address his modern sisters (All Indians are brothers and…) in that tone! I’ve only drawn that cartoon on the basis of what that nuts said… please don’t think that it was my opinion or anything closer to such. I’m progressive guy, always in support for trendy terms we hear of late like ‘rising India’, modernisation, liberalisation, gender equality etc even when I don’t have gray matters to read both sides of them. How does it matter if the pervert thinks me a ‘coward’ or the ‘liberal dad’ in this cartoon? I posted his view so that you whip his ass… Huh, ugly truth... my foot!

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